Living Life To Its Fullest: Meet Mira!
Born with biliary atresia, Mira required a liver transplant before she was a year old. Unfortunately, her biological parents could not provide the specialized care she needed, so she was placed in foster care as a toddler. Mira was adopted at 4 years old and now lives with her adoptive mother Bal, adoptive grandfather and younger biological sister. Read on to learn how the Dhesi family is doing today and about Mira’s first transplant camp experience!
Tell me a little about your transplant journey and how you’re doing now.
Mira: Well, I had a transplant when I was a baby, I don’t remember much, but I do remember Mom (Bal) visiting me in the hospital when I got sick. She brought me a turtle that I named Shelley.
Bal: Mira was born with biliary atresia, so she needed a liver transplant as an infant. In those days, they could only do the transplants in Edmonton, so she was flown out there for the surgery. Unfortunately, her biological parents couldn’t care for her properly after her surgery, so she was placed in foster care. I actually met her while she was hospitalized at BC Children’s. Her foster mother was wonderful and doing the best she could… but Mira got very sick and so we were both visiting Mira in the hospital and very involved in her care.
Mira was so angry about being in the hospital. She missed her little sister Zara and she was of course confused why I was also visiting her. Eventually, I think that she realized I wouldn’t leave her there alone and that I really cared about her, just like her foster mom, and that built a lot of trust between us. I remember taking Mira and Zara to my home that first day after discharge, they checked out all the rooms and I overheard Mira tell Zara “This is where we’re going to live now!” That meant a lot to hear.
Mira: And the house was full of bubbles! I remember that… she knew I liked blowing bubbles and made sure to have that ready for me. I also remember thinking her house was big… in my mind, houses were for rich people, and I was excited to be in a house.
Wow, so Mira was not only recovering from all of these health challenges, but she and Zara were also getting to know you and your father as their new adoptive family!
Bal: Oh yes, there was a lot of change and we all had a lot to learn about each other! For instance, the girls’ foster mother was Indian, and the girls were very used to traditional dishes. Personally, I was cooking them up lots of “kids food”, or at least what I considered normal for kids. You know, sandwiches, pizza, chicken nuggets…. they didn’t want any of it!
Mira: Oh yeah, I remember that! I wanted roti!
Bal: So, we made it fun. We tried a lot of different kinds of food together; sushi, McDonalds… we’d just go to the mall or the grocery store and find something new to try together, or I would send the girls on an adventure to pick up one new ingredient from the shop around the corner. I wanted them to trust me and feel safe with me, but also gain some independence, so I didn’t push anything. We were just patient and made sure that the girls felt supported by us no matter what.
Tell me about some of the best memories you have throughout your childhood as you were becoming a family. What stands out?
Bal: We gradually built a really wonderful, trusting relationship. Mira was always more cautious than Zara, I think because she was older, she had more trust issues and was more worried about eventually being separated from me. While I was working, we also travelled a lot together as a family. We went to Hawaii, Washington, all over Vancouver… and we made a lot of memories together.
Mira: We also enjoyed cooking together, she’s taught me how to pick out spices and flavors to figure out what a new dish needs… it’s fun!
Bal: She has become a fantastic cook! She’s so talented in the kitchen. I became ill a few years ago, so we spend much more time at home than we used to, especially with COVID. It was really hard at first. There was a lot of fear Mira was holding in about maybe losing me. But we’ve been able to be honest and vulnerable with each other, and it has really solidified our love for each other.
Mira just returned from her first Camp Latona experience, right? What did you think, Mira?
Mira: It was a blast! I was a little nervous, I hadn’t gone to camp before and I didn’t know any of the other kids, but we had a great time. I got to try a bunch of new things. I had never been tubing before, and kayaking was really fun. The counsellors were supportive and friendly, and I was happy that the food was good and that the cabins were comfortable, haha! I’ve never camped in a tent and I was a little afraid that’s what it would be, but it was super fun!
What’s on the horizon for Mira? What are your hopes and goals for the future?
Bal: She’s heading into high school this year! Grade 9, I can’t believe it! She is very smart, hardworking, and talented, I’m excited to see where she goes from here. She’s very conscientious about money, she’s already thinking about her future and I’m so proud of that.
Mira: I’m looking forward to high school… a little nervous! I hope I can get good grades, stay organized and focused, and hope to eventually go to university. I really love swimming, I’d like to get a job as a lifeguard maybe and make some money as a teenager, and then figure out what I want to do as an adult.
Any final advice for transplant or adoptive families?
Bal: Take it one day at a time! Try not to get too focused or stressed over the details. It can feel very overwhelming with so many appointments and medical needs and not knowing what the future holds, but try to be present and not too focused on what can go wrong.
It was also crucial to me to ensure that Mira never felt that she was different. I made sure that she knew how competent and bright she was so that she knew she could do anything. I can’t wait to see who she grows up to be!